I have a dilemma

You see, it’s 11 days into the County Fair. The Alameda County Fair. And what a riot it’s been!! I can’t tell you. Attendance is down. No one’s buying anything. I want to blame the gas prices, but according to Patrick, “the fair can only be down twenty percent due to the economy.” Now that’s some flawless logic.

The other day the power in my building was out for two and a half hours because the mechanical bull blew up. “We take cash, check, or…um. Just cash or check.”

Didn’t sell any for those few hours.

But in general, it’s been great. I’ve learned to mix up my sponge demo a bit. Instead of sticking to “the Super Sponge acts more like a vacuum…”, I’m starting off with “Super Sponge saves the day!!” Way more exciting.

Oh, and my favorite hook line: “Three minutes of free entertainment. And I’m funny!! At least that’s what my mom says.”

Which is especially funny to me because my mom never said that, and she’s at the booth next door selling silk blankets. She can hear every word.

Yes, we’re really mixing it up at the County Fair–all thanks to the presence of my sister, who is rather reluctant to recite the sponge demo precisely the way I might suggest she should.

I’ve begun insinuating that many Americans–just like you!–move their furniture around to hide the stains in their carpet. I think it hits home.

But, anyway, my dilemma…

For the last few nights, I’ve been so exhausted, I haven’t been able to successfully drinka beer. As a result, I have a couple half or third empty beer bottles hiding under the bathroom sink. Dare I drink one?