February 3rd

has always been a pretty big day for me.

For one: it is my half birthday. According to Chinese astrology, one should will best get along with one who’s birthday is as far away as possible–as close to the half birthday as possible–in terms of a long-term romantic relationship. I had a high school crush whose birthday was February 4th…I may still harbor that crush.

In spite of February 3rd being my half birthday, it usually marks a time of rather intense distress–as far as my year goes. I’m a Leo, and I ride high for the majority of the year. But when it hits Aquarius–late January–my world turns to shit. It’s okay. I understand. There’s a greater whole involved. And that’s cool.

It was February Third of 1994 that I first ingested a psychedelic substance. I’ve published here my original journal entry from that year, but I’m not going to take the time to link that now.

As the journal entry relates, however, is this marked change in my perception. The world was bigger than it ever was before.

And I’m happy to relate that, thirteen years later, the world is bigger than it ever was before.

I may be miserable. I may like to marinate in misery. Maybe that’s the way I am.

But the world is bigger than it ever was before. And that makes me happy. In the way that misery never will. In the way that a good dream does.