Here I am in Denver. Well, Lakewood to be specific. I’m having a pretty good time.

Last night I had the most amazing dream:

For some reason, I had been declared a juvenile delinquent and was in

Never mind. I’ll tell you later.

Bonne nuit,

Jennifer Heller

For some reason, newly 13-year-old Jen thinks it’s March, even though this entry falls between two August entries and she talks about going back to school. What gives?

Hello! Tomorrow afternoon, I get to hop on a plane that’s going to take me to Colorado. A week later, I will be on a plane back here. The monday after that, I will be getting my schedule. Another week will fly by, and after four more days, the four last days of rest and relaxation, I’m back into a place called school, but more commonly referred to as hell. LUCKY ME!

No, I’m kidding. School won’t be that bad. I’ll get to see everyone I’ve missed so terribly over the summer. And I’ll get to meet a whole new set of teachers. A year of studying and socializing (my favorite part!) will follow. I like school, but I don’t like the beginning. I don’t like not being secure in the fact of knowing everybody in your classes. I like the 2nd quarter and the rest of the year. You know everybody, you know your teachers. You follow the same routine daily. I don’t like change! But change is necessary. I’m in 8th grade! I can’t believe it! When I was in 6th grade, all the eighth graders looked so huge. And now, all the sixth graders are going to look so small! We’re the big ones. We rule the school. We’re the ones who look big to the younger students. In a year, I’ll be 14 and in high school! I swear, it’s happening so fast. Too fast. Oh, well.

I SWEAR, that I shall have had a boyfriend before I turn 14!

I SWEAR IT!? !? !?

Hopefully yours,

Jennifer Heller

The pool party didn’t happen, so I haven’t seen Dave. This Saturday, Sara and I are leaving to go to Colorado to visit Grandma. We’ll come back next Sat. I’m looking forward to the plane ride, but a week with Sara and Grandma! I’ll have fun, I know. I just have to be extra careful not to let Sara get on my nerves.

In exactly three weeks, I will have completed a day of hell. Back to school! I have some of my school supplies, but I wish it wouldn’t be starting so soon. I enjoy school, but I don’t like not knowing if I’ll know people in any of my classes. Also there’s the busing. I said I didn’t want to carpool with Jessica and Christy and Believe me, that’s true! But, I will only know Katie on the bus. I was thinking I could carpool with Emily, but I don’t think that’s going to work out.

I know that when riding the bus, I’ll meet lots of new people, and make friends, but I would perfer a carpool with Emily. Well, I don’t know. I really want my freedom this year, and comiting myself to another carpool might not be the best idea. I like being able to make split second decisions to go over to someone’s house, and a carpool would greatly interfere with that.

I’M GOING TO BE ORGANIZED THIS YEAR!

There it’s in writing. I’ve promised myself, I’m going to stay organized all year. Every year, I’ve started out organized, but then I got unorganized and could never find anything! Not this year.

Maybe I’ll carpool with Emily for the first week or so of school and then try out the bus. It might not be so bad.

I pray I know someone in my P.E. class. I’m not worried about any other classes. I really hope that I know someone. I need to share a big locker with someone! It would be hella cool if the entire cool group had P.E. together! I hope we all eat together.

I don’t know what to do about Dave. Emily has this magic eight ball and it says that he’s considering me more than a friend but he doesn’t like me. But he likes Emily. I don’t trust the fortune-telling sphere, but I am worried. He may not like Emily, but I’m pretty sure he likes Nat.

Here’s why:

-He tells two people in the entire world who he likes and they’re Nat. and his best friend who lives in some other town. What does he tell me? It says that either Natalie has somehow majorly earned his trust or that he tells her to get close to her.

-He’s always insulting her. Usually that’s a cover for true feelings.

I don’t have another reason except that he flirts with everyone!

I don’t know if Dave likes Em, but believe me, I’m going to watch for clues. With Natalie, too.

I really don’t want to risk rejection again. I’m going to lay off liking him. Or try to! Hey, I asked Robbie out, I know what rejection is like! Just about every guy I’ve liked has somehow rejected me. I’m not going to let it get out that I like him. Somehow Keri F. knows. I’m still trying to figure it out. Oh well. O hate my life. Nothing is happening. In the guy part at least. I’ve given up hope with me + Dave. It’s not going to work out. I’m sure that at ice skating when Em said he was checking me out it was just her imagination.

Hopelessly Yours,

Jennifer Heller

I know I haven’t written in a while, but I was gone for a few days at Tahoe. And there hasn’t been much going on.

On Sunday night, I had a dream:

Em, me, Jordan and another guy were at skating one day. As we were leaving, the guy asked me out. He was a shorter, fatter Jordan. I swear, he looked like Jordan. I accepted, and somehow, decided that his name was Jason. I wanted to call him a few days later, but I didn’t have his phone number, and he didn’t have mine. So I called around and asked for his number. When I got to Em, she said that his name was Brent or something, and no one knew his number. So I didn’t know his name, or have his number.

Then school started and it became major chaos. Jason/Brent kinda disappeared and the dream continued but I don’t remember what happened.

I miss Dave. But I’ll get to see him at Natalie’s party on Mon. It’s a pool party, and I’m making a swim suit just for it! We hope all six of us will be there, and if all of us are, it’ll be the first event where everyone’s there. I hope everyone can make it. I hope Dave can make it.

More later or rather, tomorrow!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME! WE HAD A NICE FAMILY CELEBRATION THIS EVENING. I GOT LOTS OF NICE, COOL THINGS. IT WAS FUN.

I BET U CAN GUESS WHAT I WISHED WHEN I BLEW OUT THE CANDLES HUH? WELL, I WON’T WRITE IT, CAUSE THEN IT MIGHT NOT COME TRUE. I HOPE IT DOES!

I HAVEN’T BEEN ABLE TO GET YESTERDAY’S EVENTS OF MY MIND. TODAY IT WAS FUN, BUT NOT AS FUN AS WITH EVERYONE. MY LESSON WAS COOL. I’M LEARNING A LOT. AND HAVING A GREAT TIME.

I’M 13! I FINALLY CAUGHT UP WITH EVERYBODY ELSE. DO YOU REALIZE I’M THE LAST PERSON IN THE “COOL GROUP” TO TURN 13?!!! I HAVE TO PUT “COOL GROUP” IN QUOTES BECAUSE I STILL HAVEN’T QUITE ADJUSTED TO IT YET! I MEAN, NONE OF US ARE ALL THAT POPULAR, SO I DON’T SEE THAT THE NAME FITS. I REALLY HOPE THAT ALL OF US EAT LUNCH TOGETHER THIS YEAR.

I KNOW IT’S A SLIM POSSIBILITY, BUT I REALLY HOPE THAT DAVE CONSIDERS ME A LITTLE MORE THAN A FRIEND. HE CONFIDES EVERYTHING IN NATALIE, AND I REALLY HOPE HE TELLS HER IF HE DOES, WHICH HE PROBABLY DOESN’T. BUT IF HE DOES CONFIDE IN NATALIE, SHE WILL HAVE TO TELL ME. HEY, SHE TOLD ME EVERYTHING ABOUT THE GIRL AT CAMP, EVEN THOUGH SHE WASN’T SUPPOSED TO. I WISH HE’D FORGET ALL ABOUT THIS GIRL FROM CAMP.

WISHFULLY YOURS,

Jennifer Heller

NOW 13!

(I LIKE THAT SIGNING OFF THING MAYBE I’LL START!)

What a great day! Skating was hella cool! Em, Nat, me, Dave and Jorday came. I had a great time skating around with my friends. Dave didn’t end up getting me anything, but I got a present in a way.

We spent about half the time inside talking. A few times, I found myself talking to Dave alone while we skated. I also talked to everyone a lot. I hope this pen starts to work.

The pen isn’t going to work.

Back 2 skating…

Once, my skate was really bothering me, so I went to sit on the bleachers to fix it. As I took of my skate, I wished that Dave would come sit by me. He skated by, stopped and joined me! There was an awkward silence for a few seconds. Then we saw Jordan + Em skating towards us. Dave said that he wondered what they’d been doing. It was so funny!

Then everyone was around us. Dave and I (I like that phrase) kept making jokes and laughing. Everyone else looked pissed ’cause they didn’t know the joke. It was really cruel of us, especially with the way Nat. has been feeling about her relationship with Jordan. But I was so wrapped up in the fact that I had been alone with him for a few minutes too realize we were hurting Natalie. So I made Dave apologize, and I apologized numerous times. I feel bad. But, I called earlier and she said it was ok. I know she felt betrayed. I’m sorry, Natalie.

At the end of the session, we had a major snowball fight. After that was over Dave and I (there’s that phrase again!) did that thing where you hold hands with the right hands held, and left hands held, and try to go in a circle. It didn’t work too well. But, HE asked me to do it with him. I thinks that cool!

When I talked to Em after the skating thing, she said a lot of stuff about Dave and I. (My phrase) She said that she caught him checking me out a few times. She also said that whenever I was talking to Jordan, he’d get a look on his face, and skate over. I hope desprately that she’s not stretching the truth. She’s my best friend (or one of them) and sometimes to a friend things seem better than they are. But I hope that it’s true. Believe me, I do. Maybe there is some chance for us after all.

J.G.H.H. <3s D.E.S.

Au revoir!

Hi! I know I haven’t written in a while, but I’ve been so tired! The plays on Wed. went great! It is really spiffy to be out of summer school. Last night, I went and babysat for Tess, who’s 2. It was fun, I hope they call me again! I can really use the $!

Earlier, Natalie called. We chatted for awhile. Dave just got back from camp today. On Thurs., Natalie came over. We tried to get ahold of everyone, to plan ice-skating. We want everyone to go on Mom. or Tues. Anyway, when Nat called Dave, she left a message with his mom to have him call her when he came back. That’s how we found out he was at camp. So is Jordan.

Anyway Dave had returned Nat’s call before she called me. He told Nat that he had met a girl at camp and he likes her. She lives far away, but they’re going to write. Well, it could be worse. They could be going out or some junk. I’m not that upset. He’s free to like whoever he wants. This just decreases my already low chance with him. I just hope he forgets about her. Or when he sees me again, he falls desperately in love with me. That would be very cool. Not like it would happen any time soon or anything.

My birthday is this Wednesday. I haven’t planned anything for it yet. For some reason, I’m not totally excited about it this year. Up till now, I’ve planned my parties 2 months in advance. I haven’t even given it much thought. Natalie’s going to tell the guys about it. Just so that they have a reason to come. Like if they won’t come for fun, they should come ’cause of my b-day.

I can’t believe 2/3s of the summer has passed. It seems like we just got out of school. But in a little more than a month, It’ll be the first day of eighth grade. And in a year, I’m going to be going into high school. I don’t feel old enough to be almost going into high school. I guess a lot of growth takes place this year. Then again, I don’t feel old enough to be going into the eighth grade.

More Later

We went to see the house again. It’s only a few blocks away. I wish that the money would hurry up and come so we could get it. Mom + Dad had a big fight today. Mom doesn’t want to go back to work, but it looks like she’ll have to. But, now everything’s ok between them.

Tomorrow is the first dress rehearsal. The play is on Wed. I pretty much know my lines and I’m not really nervous.

This week is my last week in summer school. I want it to end, so I can sleep in. But I don’t want it to end ’cause then I’ll have nothing to do.

For some reason, I really miss Em. I haven’t talked to her since Wednesday. I guess it’s kinda that I had alot of company 4 a week — from Beck, and now I’m all by my lonesome. I’ve tried to call Em, but she’s not home. I wanted to do somethin yesterday or today but she wasn’t home. Maybe tomorrow.

CiAO!