I want to go out w/ someone so I can hug someone. Kiss someone… You know what’s really sad? I’ve kissed a guy and I’ve never hugged anyone.

Tonight is probably going to be a very memorable evening. Cassie held a party. The guest list included:

Girls               Guys
me                 Mike P.
Lex                Kris B.
Cassie             Robbie
Ana                Tom
Erika              Jordan
Emily              Billy
Windy             Dave S.
Daniele W.
Loni C.
Natalie
Abby R.

Well, the party had a bottle. For spin-the-bottle which led to Truth or Dare. In Spin-the-Bottle I picked:

Dave 3? times
Kris 1 time
Robbie! 1 time

After that in Truth-or-Dare Continue Reading

I called Wild 107 trying to get tickets to see All-4-One during one of the payoffs.

I feel so pathetically stupid. I called Wild 107 trying to get tickets to see All-4-One during one of the payoffs.

Afterwards I jokingly tried to get through when they were doing Love Lines. I got through, but hung up after I freaked out.

I didn’t want to be on Love Lines but I wanted to get tickets for All-4-One! I’m going to keep trying at the payoffs. Who knows? Maybe I’ll see All-4-One live!

Continue Reading

I don’t think I’ll head-bang quite as much!

Today was O.K. Nothing much happened.

Everyone who was at the party was walking around with their hands on their necks trying to get rid of the pain in their necks. It like, branded us!

Anyway, there’s talk of another one next weekend. I don’t think I’ll head-bang quite as much! It’s supposed to be at Cassie’s house and they’re considering playing spin-the-bottle! This weekend will be quite eventful if it happens!

This day where nothing much happened was coincidentally my mom’s birthday.

Continue Reading

ADVICE: Don’t over do it on the head-banging! And the DANCING!

No school today! I just laid around watching the telly in pain while working on my history project. In pain?, you say? Yes, well too much head-banging has a type of hangover. My neck hurts like hell! So do the bottom parts of my legs!

ADVICE: Don’t over do it on the head-banging! And the DANCING!

But it was worth it! I had a great time last night! Even though now I’m sitting around in bed with a heating pad on my neck! The sounds of I swear by All-4-One being distorted by my walkman in my ears.

I <3 that song! It’s my new song! Right now all I have is a radio-recording but “I swear”–get it– that I’ll get a good copy! But I wish last night’ hadn’t ended! I just loved it! I mean, it was alot better than the dances! I don’t know why but I came w/ no expectations so I had a great time! I don’t know why it’s just… Maybe I just had a better time ’cause there weren’t as many people so I wasn’t so self-conscious! Toodles! Chow! Continue Reading

It was at Natalie’s and I was high the entire time. High on what is the question! Probably sugar!

Tonight was Lex’s surprise going away boy-girl party. It was great! Sure, I feel sick from all the spinning and have a headache from the head-banging! It was at Natalie’s and I was high the entire time. High on what is the question! Probably sugar! Between my highs I felt stoned. But I danced three times! Twice w/ Tom and another w/ Dave S. They’re both really sweet.

For my first boy-girl party it was cool!

Sure I got really depressed during some of the slow songs but other than that all of the head banging was totally rad! Now, I love to head-bang! The guest list included:

Gals                           Guys
Loni C.                      Dave S.
me                              Tom W.
Lex                             Jeff
Ana                            Mike P.
Natalie                      Billy B.
Erika                          Gary L.
Cassie
Windy
Daniele
Difference?

Continue Reading

Somehow, the subject of my kissing Robbie was brought up again! Jeeeeeeeeeeez!

Last week was spent at Las Vegas (spring vacation)

So far this week has been hectic. Nothing much has happened, though.

Today, the major stuff was in Block. Somehow, the subject of my kissing Robbie was brought up again! Jeeeeeeeeeeez! Ana sits next to Tom. So I went over to visit Ana and Tom started talking to us. The subject had already been brought up. Tom said that ever since the kiss between us Robbie has never been the same. Tom says he dreams about me and that Robbie told him he woke up this morning thinking something like “It’s after me!” The thing that made it signifigant was later I heard Robbie yelling at Tom about how Tom always tells his secrets and he keeps Tom’s. Could this have been a secret?

Also, Steve W. said Gary L. likes me awhile back so lately I’ve been total nervous in the room as Gary. We’re throwing a surprise going away party for Alexis and Gary’s coming. There’s only going to be 20 peopl (10 of each gender) so what if Gary makes a move? I don’t like him, I don’t like anyone! Then again Gary might not like me at all–I may be making much ado about nothing. Continue Reading

The problem is, is there’s this empty place inside me because I don’t even have anyone to like.

I’m depressed. I want to go out with someone so bad I can taste it! I swear. The problem is, is there’s this empty place inside me because I don’t even have anyone to like. When I liked Robbie, I could concentrate my efforts on him so I didn’t notice the emptiness. Lately, I’ve tried to fill the space with my love for ice-skating. It doesn’t work that way though. I wish it did. I wish I didn’t have to like someone to feel complete.

I wish the two sexes weren’t attracted to each other.

I’ve felt this way since last Monday when Jordan asked Natalie out. She said yes and although I’m happy for her I’m very jealous. I want to go out w/ someone I want to be the one w/ the boyfriend! Lately I’ve been the butt of a lot of jokes about the fact that I don’t have anyone to like and haven’t gone out with anyone. And usually I make them. It’s just away for me to laugh at my pain. I just wish I could fill the empty space inside. It would be easier if I knew had proof that a few guys like/liked me. Then I could know I could actually have a chance w/ the guy I like! Continue Reading

I can just imagine telling someone, “And then I’m off to the Nationals in _______”

Hi! I just finished watching the Figure Skating World Nationals, in Japan. I love to watch figure-skating. I swear.

Last Thursday, the actual performance was of kids not older than me who were trying out their programs for the U.S Nationals in front of an audience. It made me realize that in a few years I can be the one performing my program, not welcoming on the performers! And I will go to the Nationals. Mom thinks I’ll go too.

I can just imagine telling someone, “And then I’m off to the Nationals in _______” Then I‘ll really be able to rub Jessica’s face in the ice for calling me a “Tonya Harding want a be!” I swear, I’d like to see her do a solchow! Anyway it doesn’t matter if I don’t make it to the Olympics. But I want to make it up to the Nationals! Continue Reading

All today I was sooo nervous. I was dying of nervousness. But finally I came to the skating rink to get it all over with.

Tonight we had our festival on ice performance. I guess I better explain:

Three weeks ago, Erin, me and Sara signed up to come every Sunday at 5:45 a.m. to the skating rink to practice for the performance, tonight. Anyway, it was a pain in the butt to get up that early but I wanted to perform sooo badly.

All today I was sooo nervous. I was dying of nervousness. But finally I came to the skating rink to get it all over with. When I finally got out on the ice, I did pretty well. I landed my solchiw and my 1-foot opin was o.k., but not one of my best. Then we waited while the Intermediate people (including Sara) did their and then all together we went across the ice in a bunny-hop, bunny-hop, lunge. When we finished we were spossed to do backwards swizzles back to the wall, but my blade clanked with the girl next to me’s and she went down. I feel sooo bad. And she rubbed it in. When we got back to the wall she was complaining to Suzanne, another girl in our group about how, she was going to look like a ritard. I can only comfort myself by telling myself that she chose it to happen and the girl was a spoiled brat anyway.

After that incident came to pass we had to do solos on one-foot spins. I did better than I had on my last one, but still not very well. Oh well. At least I got to perform and that was an experience I wouldn’t trade for a million bucks. I can’t wait for ice-skating this Saturday. 2 whole days! How will I live? Just joking!

Here’s what our routine was:

March onto ice, go into skating, turn backwards, turn forwards, turn backwards, turn forwards, go into a  few front crossovers into back crossovers into solchow, 2 foot glide w/ arms in “V” and turn to backwards spiral into one-foot spin.

“Back spiral”, Jennifer Heller Continue Reading