I smudged eyeliner haphazardly around my eyes to mask the tears that I couldn’t keep from falling.
That I could barely stop.
Life is hard today, on this Monday.
Blog
I started blogging in 2005 as a way to deal with my post-college depression. I had a lot of hair back then.
I share funny stories and life lessons all written in the same down-to-earth, tell-it-like-it-is fashion that makes me my mom’s favorite blogger.
First Friday Giveaway! Win a Canvas Print from Easy Canvas Prints
Not too many months ago, my office was my home, and my absolute favorite thing to do all day was to stare out the window at the rooftops. Not particularly good for productivity. It was such a relief to move out and into our office space (part one, two), but I was sure going to miss those rooftops.
To commemorate that view, I ordered a canvas print of a photograph from Easy Canvas Prints.
I have to say it’s awesome. Super easy to order, and the color is vibrant. I chose to have the photo stretched on the sides of the canvas and it looks great.
Did we mention that Father's Day is coming up? It would be a great gift for a dad with a sentimental nature. One time I gave my dad some magnets of some photos that I had taken over the years that I thought he'd like. He gave them back a few years later.
Easy Canvas Prints is so awesome, they offered to let me give away a free 8×10″ print!
Enter Now with blog code: JENNIFER2012. Please note that you need to live in the US, and they don’t ship free prints to Hawaii or Alaska so if you live there you’re out of luck. Poop.
We’ll accept entries until 5pm next Friday, June 6th. I get to pick the winner! I’m going to draw a name out of a hat! I might even put a rabbit in there too mix things up. Continue Reading
Bravery is Rewarded — How I Finally won at Karaoke
If you know me (or follow this blog), you know I love karaoke. We go a few times a year to the Shattuck Down Low on Tuesday nights. It’s pretty much the highlight of my life.
I have tried to win their Valentine’s Day and Halloween Karaoke Contests for years. Awhile ago they started a contest every Tuesday where you could win a $50 bar tab by being awesome.
About a week ago I decided I was finally going to perform my favorite karaoke song of all, Pulp’s This is Hardcore.
I had performed it at Jenfest 2007 to much fanfare, but never for an audience of strangers. It’s one of my favorite karaoke songs because I love the song and it’s super long…which means more time with the microphone. #ilovemicrophones
There’s one major reason it’s not ideal: It’s basically about the making of a porno film. I love it for it’s drama and intrigue, but not necessarily the subject matter. Yet, I had decided that I was finally going to throw caution to the wind and sing it…
And then I chickened out, choosing my staple, Talking in Your Sleep by the Romantics, for my first song. It was a truly dissatisfying karaoke experience.
A gin and tonic later, and I was ready. I went for it. My love for the song took over any question that this was an inadvisable song to choose and pure joy overcame me.No wonder they picked me to win. Though the emcee claimed I won to reward my courage to sing such a naughty song so well. Whatever it was, I sleep soundly now that one of my life goals has been achieved.
A good day, I’d say. Continue Reading
Do you talk to yourself?
Will and I are up late talking about talking to ourselves. He was talking to the record collection, you see…asking what should be played. The Stranglers song Tank won, btw.
He reflects that he always felt ashamed of how much he talked to himself as a child. He was ashamed up until he read that Alexander Hamilton shared the same habit. With Alexander Hamilton, he talked to himself so much that people actively complained about it. But he was a genius, so what were they going to do?
I remember a late night talking to a treasured photo of an ex-boyfriend. It was that talk that got me out of loving him…and into moving on. I think of what fun I’ve had over the years talking to myself…as if I were a character in Days of Our Lives and what I was heard would motivate the next murder plot…and as if I were another person, keeping myself company.
But I’m a people person.
Do you like talking to yourself? Are you ashamed?
Bewildering Forwards #2
I am continually mesmerized by what people forward and why…Our first specimen was a not-very-funny animal photo with stupid captions. Here’s an I’m-sure-accurate account of what John Cleese has to say about security that my father passed on.
John Cleese – British writer, actor, and tall person, speaking on the topic of security:
The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent events in Syria and have therefore raised their security level from “Miffed” to “Peeved.”
Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to “Irritated” or even “A Bit Cross.” The English have not been “A Bit Cross” since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies nearly ran out.
Terrorists have been re-categorized from “Tiresome” to “A Bloody Nuisance.” The last time the British issued a “Bloody Nuisance” warning level was in 1588, when threatened by the Spanish Armada.
The Scots have raised their threat level from “Pissed Off” to “Let’s get the Bastards.” They don’t have any other levels. This is the reason they have been used on the front line of the British army for the last 300 years. Continue Reading
Wisdom from the Trenches
I did some volunteer consulting for Women’s Initiative the other week. What fun it is to reach out to fellow woman entrepreneurs! People who understand what it’s like; whose lives are similarly a roller coaster ride that never ends.
One of my clients shared the following lyric as one that helps her be okay with not knowing how things are going to play out…even when it comes down to how you’re going to pay your staff or afford that necessary expense this week.
A mind, that wants to wander,
round a corner,
Is an un-wise mind– George Harrison, Be Here Now
It turns out the song’s pretty weird though. But don’t let that ruin this wisdom! Since I acquired it, I’ve applied it everywhere…from planning travel expenses, to dealing with tumultuous relationships. Fretting about the future takes pleasure from the present. And who knows, we might not be here in another ten minutes.
Life Lesson: Artichokes are not the best take-your-lunch-to-work food
They make your fingers all sticky and they’re really hard to eat at your desk when you’re busy working your way through your lunch break.*
Also, if you’re going to cut them in half before cooking, clear out all those little hairs. Otherwise they get all over all the leaves and in your mouth and it’s a lot like licking a cat.**
Lastly, I’ve had artichokes with melted butter, I’ve had them with mayo. But my favorite dipping sauce remains mayo mixed with a bit of curry. What’s yours? Continue Reading
Roommates: still a pain in the neck after all these years
As William Godwin shared at the turn of the 18th century…
“Cohabitation is a point of delicate experiment, and is, in a majority of instances, pregnant with ill-humor and unhappiness.”
Thank you to Will for that awesome and ever so timeless quote. Continue Reading
Who’s the Awful Roommate? Smitty Flies Off the Handle
Poor Smitty is a clean guy, like me. He likes his house clean and his sink empty of dirty dishes.
Back when he was just discovering that about himself, he lived with a number of men who didn’t feel the same way.
No, they liked to leave food all over the place to rot and piled the sink to high heaven with dishes.
Smitty tried to get them to clean up after themselves. Or so he said, anyway.
And then one day, he wanted to make an egg. Such a simple desire! But there was not a clean plate or pan to be found.
He flew off the handle. He grabbed a few dirty dishes from the sink and started pelting their doors with them. It felt pretty good, so he continued until there was not a whole plate to be found.
Though he didn’t ever get his egg, he made sure that those roommates wouldn’t be leaving any more dirty dishes around the house. Continue Reading
