Dad got on my case for saying “sucks”. Oh well. Lord. (sigh)

Originally Written on June 3, 1993
Posted on by Jennifer Heller
Actually maybe it’s June 14.  Yes, it’s past midnight and tomorrow, not wait.  Today is a school day.  GOD!!!!  Dad got on my case for saying “sucks”.  Oh well.  Lord.  (sigh)  I can not sleep.  At all.  I don’t know why.  I hate this book.  It is so hard to write in.  I’m hungry.  My stomach is empty.  I don’t know why I can’t sleep.  There are only 5 school days left in the year.  Last night (really, sort of tonight) was our girl scout ceremony.  This tuesday we are going to the Aquatic Center.  Hey, that’s tomorrow now.  Gosh. I’m starting a scrapbook.  All summer I’m going to be working on the Interest Projects.  That is what they’re called.  I’m a Cadet.  I’m so bored.  Now that Becky and I have made up it’s back to the old schedule. Continue Reading

Alyssia said Andrew likes me. I’m thinking “Hey, why doesn’t he ask me out?”. I’d go out with him, I guess. Yeah, I would.

Originally Written on June 10, 1993
Posted on by Jennifer Heller
Hi!  I don’t know.  Alyssia said Andrew likes me.  I’m thinking “Hey, why doesn’t he ask me out?”.  I’d go out with him, I guess.  Yeah, I would.  I’m friends with Becky and Alexis again.  Hey, if Alexis is  going out with Gary, then I can go out with Andrew.  He’s really nice and a little cute too.  I don’t think I like him though.  Maybe I ought to.  After all, what have I got to lose?  There are only six school days left in this year.Boys who like me Continue Reading

Someone stole my mechanical pencil!!!! Mom bought me a new one.

Originally Written on June 2, 1993
Posted on by Jennifer Heller

Hi! So much has happened today. I switched groups. Not really but I like to think of it being that way. Anyway the fight with Becky got me upset and I don’t want to be so oblivious at lunch. Sooooooo, I am now eating lunch with Becky R., Amy, Kristen, Kristen, Rachel, Sabrina, Tamara, Nicole, Jessica, and Danielle. At least I can be oblivious with people I like.

Anyway I had a really good day. So unlike yesterday.

I went to Pier 1 Imports and got the directors chair. I got really upset when it didn’t fit underneath my desk. Anyway, I’m going to return it and get a beanbag or beanbag chair as Mom calls it.

Someone stole my mechanical pencil!!!! Mom bought me a new one. Continue Reading

So I hate her and I will forever more. My life is HELL! It couldn’t get any worse! Fuck the world!!!

Originally Written on June 1, 1993
Posted on by Jennifer Heller

Becky is a BITCH!!! So is Alexis and Christy. You know what is really funny? This morning, Becky and Alexis told Tamara that Emily and I were the ones afraid of Vortex and Top Gun. HA?!! I hated sitting with them at lunch. You know something? Just the thought of Becky or Alexis, or Christy makes my eyes narrow, my jaw clench and a shudder go down my spine. That is how much I hate them. I am mostly mad at Becky because what kind of best friend lies?!!! So I hate her and I will forever more. My life is HELL! It couldn’t get any worse! Fuck the world!!! Continue Reading

Ok so me and Emily had a great time. We went on Vortex and that is THE BEST!!!!!!!!!

Originally Written on May 31, 1993
Posted on by Jennifer Heller

Becky is a DOA..I made that up. It stands for Daughter of an asshole. She is also a major bitch. At Great America on Saturday she was being a major spoiled sport. She just had to have her own way. She wouldn’t go on Top Gun or Vortex or even the Fiddlers Fling, which is a lame ride. I might be able to understand about Top Gun but she wouldn’t go on the Blue Streak if her life depended on it! (The Blue Streak is a kiddie roller coaster!).

She spent all Saturday complaining about the long lines and how her vein in her foot hurt. In fact I was only with her for about an hour and a half. After that I got fed up and Emily and I left to go on by ourselves. Only we were stuck with Christy. Only till four though. After the awards ceremony (our band took 4th and got the Spirit Award) Emily and I took off leaving Becky and Alexis with Christy.

Ok so me and Emily had a great time. We went on Vortex and that is THE BEST!!!!!!!!! We didn’t have time to go on Top Gun. After all the line went through two lands!!!

Ok, so 8:30 rolls around and we meet with our chaperone’s and stuff. Emily and Christy, and Alexis make up this outlandish story about how they went on all of the scary rides like Vortex, Top Gun, the Demon. Anyway they’re scared like Hell of these rides and would never go on any of them.

Oh I forgot, when we were with Christy, we were talking bad about Becky and Alexis. Guess what? Christy told them!!!! So there we were. They were all pissed at us and telling LIES!!!! So they’re DOAs and Bitches!!!!!

It was hecka funny in the car on the way home. Becky says she was tired and didn’t remember if she went on Top Gun or not!!!! If you went on Top Gun you would remember it. It would be the best thing that ever would happen to you. Sure she’s tire. She also said that she thinks she bumped her head?!!!! Sure, Becky we believe you?!!!! HA, HA!!! That is why Becky M. is a DOA

I wish Steve would ask me if I’d go out with Andy if he asked. I’d shrug and say “probably.”

Originally Written on May 27, 1996
Posted on by Jennifer Heller

After school at Becky’s house she called Emily. I was invisible. Literally. Because Alexis went out with Gary Becky got busted. With Alexis. Alexis has a hot temper, and Danielle told her that Becky yelled out in front of the clarinet section that Alexis was going with Gary. Anyway, this never happened. But Alexis got pissed. I mean big time. There she was yelling at Becky in the room where our instruments are stored. Alexis was being a B-I-T-C-H. She was having a major moo-moo. Anyway after Alexis had sort of calmed down, I decide that I don’t want to share a stand with her and Tamara. I go and I get Alexis a stand. Then Alexis turns to me and you should have seen her face!! It was totally twisted in anger. It was the ugliest thing in the world!!!

“You’re not pissed at me too, are you?!!!” she asks. She sounded awful. Her voice was high-pitched and it sounded horrible.

“No,” I said, “But Becky isn’t either. If she is she’d have a good reason to be witht he way you’re acting!” That set her off again. Through band she sat there scowling.

How come Gary likes Alexis? She is not even pretty. In fact I don’t think she even touches her hair and it doesn’t look good. Majorly. The part is totally off, and her bangs…they need plastic surgery. Why have her? Oh, well. I’m still puzzling over whether Andy likes me. Steve keeps asking me if I like Andy. Why? I wish Steve would ask me if I’d go out with Andy if he asked. I’d shrug and say “probably.” Of course Erica would be there, so she could tell everyone.

Alexis was being a bitch today! During Science she came up and said “I thought you were sitting with us?!” I shrugged and said, “Sorry.”

Originally Written on May 26, 1993
Posted on by Jennifer Heller

Alexis was being a bitch today! During Science she came up and said “I thought you were sitting with us?!” I shrugged and said, “Sorry.” Alexis turned on her heal and stormed off. Alexis doesn’t own me! I can sit where I want to, despite what she says. Also on Tuesday, I was being nice to Ana and talking with her all the way to band. Alexis walks up, pulls me aside and says, “How come you’re being nice to her?!!!” I felt like saying, ‘Excuse me? A week ago you got mad at me for being mean to her. You said, Oh she’s not that bad! Remember?!!! Anyway who cares. She’s not important.

How come I’m so nervous all the time? Around guys I mean. I’m always grinning and acting stupid. Whenever Steve talks to me, I get nervous. Maybe it’s because he’s always asking if I like Andy. I don’t know why. Continue Reading

I assumed Amanda had told Steve who Andy liked. I pretended I didn’t notice and went back to drawing.

Posted on by Jennifer Heller

Art: as usual the topic was Ana. Hold on let me backtrack for a second. In Art I never talk to anyone and feel very “out.” Anyway, Amanda is our (my) table group and she wanted to know why Andy (also in my table group) wouldn’t go out with Ana, who has liked him for awhile. Andy says he doesn’t really know her, which is a complete lie since they’re in the same Math class. Anyway, Amanda wanted to know who in the table group had told Ana what Amanda had said about a week ago. Now, of course, I had, but I didn’t to get in trouble for it. When she asked me, I shook my head, no. Anyway later Steve W. comes along and starts asking Andy who he likes. So, I’m just sitting here drawing my picture.

“Is she in this class,” Steve asks.

Andy nods.

“Is it Annie?” Steve.

“No,” Andy answers. Anyway, Amanda had said that she knew.

“Is it Amanda?”

“No.”

“Is it Jennifer Heller?”

Andy shook his head, slowly.

“Jennifer?” I looked up. “Do you like Andy?”

I shook my head and went back to drawing. A few seconds later, Steve said, “Jennifer Heller?!!!”

I looked up. Amanda was nodding. I assumed Amanda had told Steve who Andy liked. I pretended I didn’t notice and went back to drawing. Continue Reading