I am a mom, entrepreneur, occasional blogger, and creator. I recently launched Here Comes the Apocalypse, a self-paced disaster preparedness system with a dark sense of humor. My team and I make up Artsy Geek, a top-ranked Bay Area branding and digital agency.
You have stumbled on my little corner of the internet. Thanks for coming by.
To me, there’s something comforting about writing in here before I go to bed.
Today I apologized to Em for being mad at her. I know before I did, I was being a bitch on the phone [ink color abruptly changes from pink to black]– that pen was not working! Anyway, I talked to Beck and I feel a lot better now! It seems that lately, I’ve been mad at her every other day! She’s just an easy target and I need to express my stress somehow! Sorry, M. Tomorrow, we’re going to the mall.
CIAO!
Ola! Just Joking! You know, summer school is really cool! So what if I have to get up at six. Once I wake up, I have fun. There’s this guy in my class, Chris, and he’s hella sweet. All of the guys are. Chris is going into 7th grade, but there’s only one that’s going into 8th. That’s Mike D. Anyway, Chris is the Sheriff, and in the play, he has to give me tickle torture. Now whenever he sees me, he pretends to tickle me!
In art, we’re doing cartooning. It’s cool. There’s this guy in my class, Mike C. and he reminds me so much of Robbie! He walks like him and dresses like him. I’ll bet he’s a Robbie M. wantabe! I haven’t seen much of Beck lately. The movie didn’t count! I swear. I’ve been very short-tempered with Emily lately. Yesterday at the movie, do you know what she had the nerve to say? We were sitting down and she said, “I want to sit by Natalie and Becky.” Then she glanced at me as if she really cared what I thought about it. I ignored the comment. I’m sorry, but having Beck around brings out the worst in her! She’s being a bitch.
I wanted to call to talk to Beck, but I thought it would be a little rude to call and ask for Beck. Even with the way Em has been treating me. I’m not going to sink to her level. I’m going to go on with my life and just ignore her and her nasty comments. Not nasty in the sick sense but in the mean sense. I’ve tried to be nice but I’m not going to anymore. I don’t even want to hear what excuse she gives me for her behavior. Maybe, since we’ve been missing a lot of activities lately, we’ll just have to miss some of the activities we have planned when Beck is with me. They didn’t even come to skateboarding today. Em will probably have a lousy excuse, like always. Dave didn’t come, either.
You know, I’m not going to pursue this setting up business any more. I’m just going to pursue a stronger friendship between us. If we become good friends, then I’ll have a better chance with romance. I really like him. And I’m sure I do. But he’s going to Amador! This year will be the last year I have with him. I hope we alot of classes together this year!
Howdy! Today at the movies it was only the four girls and Dave! I felt bad 4 Dave. Becky thought he was cute. Once again, we sat next to each other, with no one on his other side.
We talked and Dave joked quite a bit throughout the movie. The movie was great! I love it. Back to Dave, he ate almost all of my Sour Patch Kids! But I really don’t mind anything to bring us closer! I had a great time!
Goody!
G. and I had a bit of a disagreement the other day.
She related a tale of a poor soul asleep with noise canceling headphones on. The noise canceling headphones helped her sleep, and sleep she did…all the way through the robbing of her house.
G. said, “How scary is that?! To sleep soundly while your house is robbed?!!”
But I disagreed. Wasn’t it, after all, the best way to have your house robbed?! To sleep peacefully through it, and wake only to the aftermath?
Thank goodness, we agreed, she wasn’t hurt.
P.S.: As a child, I once slept through our house catching on fire, fire trucks, firemen…I slept through it all. And it rocked. Nowadays I don’t sleep through much, and it is a total bummer. Last night I awoke in a panic that there was an earthquake…but it was just my cat vigorously attacking fleas and shaking the bed. But let’s be honest…I’m probably a little jaded and would rather sleep through more than I do.
P.P.S.: If you’re a light sleeper like I am, try a sound machine. It’s fantastic.
Howdy! Nothing going on around here. I didn’t do anything with Em and Becky today as was planned. Tomorrow, we’re all going to the movies — the Lion King! I’m not sure who’s all going but I know it’s going to be: me, Em, Beck, Nat and Dave! I’m not going to be nervous. It’s not going to be just Dave, Jordan, Patterson or Tom W.(!) might come. It’s going to be really cool.
I got the part of Fryer Luck! But now I don’t want it! It’s really big. But, I’m glad I got it!
Hi! This is the place where I record just about everything important that happens to me. Right now, I’m in the summer vacation between 7th and 8th grade. My bestest friend, Becky M., lives in Texas. But right now she’s here in Pleasanton with me. At this moment, she’s staying with my other best friend, Emily D.
For the month of July, I’m taking an art + drama class at summer school. I’m 12, although most of my friends are 13. One of my favorite intrests is ice-skating. I’m one of the advanced classes at Dublin Iceland. I adore it. Every Wednesday, I go and skate. After school got out, one of my really good friends, Natalie D., started to take lessons. Last week, Dave S., my latest intrest, came to skating. We don’t know each other really well, but we’re friends. I’m not giving up hope, though. Smurf is his code name.
I am very creative, though I spend half my time watching the tube.
I’m in the middle of writing a book — Deja Vu. It’s a horror-love story. I’m not really far, but it’s good so far. In art class, we’re supposed to keep a book of sketches. Mine are really good, if I do say so myself. In drama, I tried out for the part of Fryer Luck (spinoff of Robin Hood) for our play. It’s a rather big part and I hope I get it! I’ll find out tomorrow.
My romance life? Non-existint. Alot of the time, I’ll put myself down but that’s only when I’m upset, of course, that’s alot of the time! I’m sort of in the “cool group”, which includes: Natalie, Emily, Jordan E. (Nat’s boyfriend), Doug B. (Em’s boyfriend), and of course, Dave. Or Smurf, if you’d rather.
My nickname is “Dipper Tinman Insane”. I got that because on my left cheek is a dipper, (as in the Little Dipper & the Big Dipper) Tinman because me, Nat, Erika H. (one of my most trusted good friends) and Christy L. (who will often be referred to as Fred–she’s another great friend) all have parts in the Wizard of Oz. I got insane because basically I’m really wierd. Crazy. Mostly hyper.
Hopefully, you know all this junk I’m telling you because you’ve read my previous diaries. In fact, I have no idea why I’m wasting all this ink and trees explaining my life. I’ll stop now and tell what happened today.
Yes, it really says that. You cannot deny that 12-year-old Jen wanted to have her diaries posted on the Internet. If the Internet had existed then, this would have been a LiveJournal.
Todays Sunday, so I didn’t have summer school (that was pointless, huh?). Anyway, I was going to go to the mall with Em, Nat and Beck. But my parental units let me have them over for swimming and dinner too.
Natalie arrived about 1:15. We walked to the mall. About 1:30 we were at Olga’s Kitchen, waiting for Em and Becky. They didn’t arrive till 1:45! Anyway I was annoyed with Em, basically all the time we were at the mall. For no particular reason, either. I just needed to take my aggression out on someone. Then, about 3:15, we got picked up by my mom. We headed home, got in our suits and went to the pool. Maybe it was the cool, wet water that snapped me into my senses. Anyway I stopped being annoyed with Em. I felt really bad, because she had read my last diary entry and was on the verge of tears. So, for the rest of the night, I tried to be especially nice. I feel bad. Sorry M!
CIAO! Bonne nuit!
It’s that time again…the time to bid farewell to one of young Jen’s diaries and begin another.
Volume Three flew by in a wave of tears and disappointment. Poor 12-year-old Jennifer still had no boobs and no boyfriend!
Volume Four promises to continue this story arch, but with a big dose of Lion King. Best friend Emily and 12-year-old Jennifer were busy collecting Lion King trading cards and other paraphrenelia with a frenzy!
The next seven months of entries are not nearly as on-theme as the intro pages.
Indeed, the choice of Lion King diary was an interesting one. It’s suiting that Nala is gazing so ardently at Simba…the way I must have spent every waking hour staring at the boys in my classes and wishing desperately that one would like me back.
No surprise they didn’t! Poor 12-year-old Jennifer had not learned the valuable lesson that desperation begets…well…more desperation.
Also worth noting is that this is the first diary has a lock!
Oh yes, no one should ever read the secrets contained in these pages!!
Yet the opening entry begins…
Hi! This is the place where I record just about everything important that happens to me. Right now, I’m in the summer vacation between 7th and 8th grade.
My bestest friend, Becky M., lives in Texas. But right now she’s here in Pleasanton with me. At this moment, she’s staying with my other best friend, Emily D.
I hate wedding registries. In fact, I hate all registries.
Here’s why:
1. No creativity. Whatsoever.
2. No freedom to support local artisans and businesses. None. If I’m lucky I can support a very established designer or illustrator that is employed by Crate and Barrel or Target or whatever.
3. Pigeon-holed (for the most part) to one store.
I’m sure the stores love it.
But I don’t.
I would so much rather get the newlyweds something thoughtful that I think they might love…and that recycles my money in my local community. I’ll include a gift receipt in case you don’t like it! I don’t mind at all.
But…instead…they can have a really ridiculous candle holder:
Why? I have no idea. Probably they thought it was kinda cute and now $70 of my bucks are going to buy it for them. I hope someone else gets the candles.
Well, Becky is here. It is SO good to see her! She arrived earlier than expected on Thursday.
(That pen wasn’t working)
We talked a lot that night. She kept me up with insults until one. For some reason, I don’t remember her that way. I suppose, I just remember the good things about her.
Anyway, yesterday, I tried out for parts in drama–I hope I gut Fryer Luck! (spin off of Robin Hood). That’s a pretty big part. Summer school is great.
That afternoon, we went to Emily’s. From there, we took off for Santa Cruz 4 her birthday partee. Natalie and Becky got along pretty well and the ride was really cool. We were all on a sugar high and practically bouncing off the walls. When we reached our destination, we stopped at the cabin, where we’re staying. Then we hopped into the car and went to Taco Bell. From there we went to the Beach Boardwalk. We got the wristbands and went on the sky rides.
I was tired since I’d gotten up at six that morning. Em went on with Beck and Nat + I went together. I guess I was a little pissed at Em then. She seemed to be competeing 4 Beck’s attention. We kept going on rides. It was a cold night. To me, M was acting buddy-buddy with both Nat and Beck. I felt majorly left out. I felt as if, after they chose people to go on rides with, the one left would go with me. There were times when I could have burst out crying.
Natalie was singing all night and I didn’t mind at all. But every time I started to sing with them, I was told to go into acting, not singing. It just hurt me ’cause it’s not like I can help it. It just pissed me off, cause I was putting up with them. I guess I felt inferior cause I can’t sing and they can. But they don’t have to rub my face in it! So I sorta zoned them out. Or tried to.
I just wanted to go home and cry. Then we went on the Giant Dipper. I should have had fun on the ride, since it’s named after me. They even have a restaurant that’s named after me: Dipper Diner! Anyway, sometime during the course of the evening, Nat and M decided that they’d go on the roller coaster together. Beck hates roller coasters, so once again, I’m left out. We were going to get seats close together, but it didn’t work. I got stuck next to some guy. As we were climbing toward the top, I felt the tears stinging my eyes. I almost let them fall. I know that when M reads this, she’s going to apologize and give me a hug. I’ll say it’s ok. I’m tired of being fucking left out. OK, so may be I wasn’t the best company, but every single group trip I go on, I’m
ALWAYS
left out. You would not believe how much anger I have at this. I understand that no one means for it to happen, but it does! I go on the trips, hoping that it’ll be better than the last one. But each one seems to get worse and worse. I swear I’m not going to go on anymore. They’re just not fun.
Anyway, the rest of the time at the board walk was ok. I tried to enjoy myself. I guess I did a little. One thing that REALLY pissed me off was that after we got off the Dipper, Em’s dad talked to her almost immediately, she tried to cheer me up. But the only reason she tried, was because her dad told her to. And Em, don’t say that it’s not true, cause it is, and you know it.
That night, when the lights were off, Em + Nat were talking on their cots. I was with Becky on the sofa bed. It seemed as if no one wanted to sleep by me. And right now, I’m just so hurt I know that tomorrow I’ll brush it off and say it was nothing but it is. I’m tired of not being liked. It’s happened to me so many times. I just feel unloved by my friends. I wish it wasn’t so, but it is.
When they joke around saying, “Aw, I don’t want to sit by HER!” There is a limit. And this weekend, they went beyond the limit every time we chose places or something. I would hear the same line about me and after awhile, it just hurts. I’m not that sensitive, but these are my best friends! They’re the one’s who are supposed to support me, not make fun of me! But I don’t think I’ll change. This morning I didn’t feel resentful to Emily anymore. But then it started again. We went garage sale shopping and it was quite boring. Emily barely said one word to me, everyone else but not me, and that just added to my pile of reasons why I was pissed at her.
Then we went to the cottage and then to the beach. Becky wouldn’t get wet and Nat wasn’t going to go in as far as I wanted to so that left me + M. I did not feel like spending time with her. I suggested that we should take off our t-shirts so we wouldn’t have to worry about getting them wet. She didn’t want to. Then ten min. or so later, she took hers off. I know it’s really stupid, but that pissed me off. It’s like, the idea sucks when I think of it, but a little later, it’s a wonderful idea, just as long as I didn’t think of it.
Then a little later, she wants to talk to me. She says that since Becky wasn’t having any fun, she and I should take turns cheering her up and taking time out of our own fun time! I felt like saying, “I’m not having a fun time at all, so how can I take time out of it, to cheer Beck up?!!!” But I didn’t, mostly because I didn’t think of the line til after she talked to me. Soon we left.
The ride home was pretty good. It’s a really long drive! We had tons of candy and we were all sick. I forgot about my anger towards M. But now it has returned. And now, I’m out of room in my diary and have no money to buy a new one. My life just keeps getting worse and worse. The line of problems is a leaky faucet–it never stops leaking new problems! And I keep crossing my t’s!
