One more strike and we’re out. Yep, ‘The Group’ stroke again. We have to take some action soon.

Originally Written on July 15, 1992
Posted on by Jennifer Heller

It is so embarrassing changing in the dressing rooms. Most of the six year olds are bigger then me. Can you believe it? I can’t. I’ll never wear a bra before school.

One more strike and we’re out. Yep, ‘The Group’ stroke again. We have to take some action soon.

A group of popular girls, a few of whom I am now actually friends with on Facebook, spent their free time vandalizing the playground at our elementary school with demeaning comments about me and a few of my great friends. Which meant we got to spend our free time frantically washing them away for fear of our peers seeing and believing the crude and slanderous assertions.

Steve. Jennifer Heller’s first crush. And it was not a mega-crush. Steve may not even be cute. I can’t tell. Oh, well.

How come the boys are always staring at me during class?

Originally Written on July 2, 1992
Posted on by Jennifer Heller

Grandma arrived today. Sara is sharing a room with me. Awful, huh? I’m on my first section of white.

I was crocheting an afgan much like this one except in hideous pastels.

There is a kinda cute guy in my swim class. How come the boys are always staring at me during class? It’s like I’m different from TaiHee or Nicky. Nicky is turning eleven on the eleventh of Augest. But she lives in Rino.

Next year maybe I’ll be popular. Maybe not. How come everything will have it’s pros and cons?

Originally Written on July 1, 1992
Posted on by Jennifer Heller

Jamie will never be my friend. I have never made the first move. Maybe I could invite her over. Nah! Face it, Jennifer. You’ll never make the first move! Now I’m talking dates. I could never go up to a guy and say ‘I like you.’ Impossible. I couldn’t do that. Oh well.

Hard to believe that 18 years later I would walk into a bar and make new friends.

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I am nervous about going to Pleasanton Middle School next year.

Originally Written on June 28, 1992
Posted on by Jennifer Heller

I am nervous about going to Pleasanton Middle School next year. Well maybe nervous is an understatement. Carol is taking me and a friend to find our classes.

Carol was my babysitter (yes a babysitter had a babysitter!); Pleasanton Middle School (PMS) was huge!

I’m turning 11. I’m a babysitter. I’m a flutist. I’m a 6th grader.

Originally Written on June 27, 1992
Posted on by Jennifer Heller

This summer so much is happening to me. I’m turning 11. I’m a babysitter. I’m a flutist. I’m a 6th grader. I’m going into a middle school. I’m growing up. There seems to be no end to the changes that are happening to me.

I’d like to point out that one of those changes was that on this day I decided to adopt the practice of dotting my i’s with hearts. AWESOME.

I just had the perfect day. I got a Gunimehardt flute from the House of Woodwinds. It is so (I mean so) much easier to play. I just returned from my third baby-sitting job for the Friedmans. It was a piece of cake. Like all the others. I haven’t given much thought to Steve. I guess he was just a fantasy. Now I’m open to guys. Ana taught me how to put my bangs up. I guess I look better.

You know, the early 90’s style where you make your bangs resemble a tidal wave? That’s what I’m talking about here…

I’m not so flat-chested anymore. Maybe I’m imagining it but I don’t think so. Maybe I’ll wear a bra by September. On the eighth school starts. The day before yesterday my sweater from Hanna’s came. It is pretty.

I bet it looked something like this.

When I have my Senior Prom I’ll wear a turquoise taffeta dress that is tight til the waste.

Originally Written on June 22, 1992
Posted on by Jennifer Heller

When I have my Senior Prom I’ll wear a turquoise taffeta dress that is tight til the waste. Diamond earrings will hang in my ears. Light makeup will cover my face. My hair swept away from my face with a combs. It will hang down in long curls. I will be the center of attention.

Taffeta dress tight to the waist? check (sorta). Combs? check. Long curls? D’oh!! I shouldn’t have cut my hair off!! Center of attention? nah.

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I just hope on a stack of Holy Bibles that I’m popular next year.

Originally Written on June 16, 1992
Posted on by Jennifer Heller

Oh, God! Will I always remain flat-chested? I guess not. It seems that way. I mean look at Carolyn, Alex, Sunny, Leah, Christy, and Becky. Then look at me!!!

Back then I don’t think I saw faces…only boobs.

If I don’t wear a bra by the end of the summer, I’m going to be the laughingstock of the entire sixth grade. Oh, I don’t know.

Note the scribbles! If only I had done a better job to insure that 28-year-old-me wouldn’t publish it on the internet.

At least the second day of summer vacation was 81.

I wonder if Steve ever thinks about me. Or am I just another dope that wound up in his trail group? Maybe he does like me. Maybe he doesn’t. Maybe he used to but doesn’t anymore. Or maybe…

Maybe I’ll stuff a bra if I don’t wear one. Maybe not. I just hope on a stack of Holy Bibles that I’m popular next year. I’ll meet a best friend. She’ll be just like Laura was.

Maybe we’ll have to plan the party around my party instead of me planning my party around our party.

Originally Written on June 15, 1992
Posted on by Jennifer Heller

The first day of summer vacation and it rained! TaiHee is in my swim class. So far it’s easy. It didn’t rain in the pool when I was in it. I wish it had. Today I was bored to death.

Today, 11-year-old me, you’re boring me to death.

We need to plan the party soon. It’s set fo August, but Kelly’s goin’ away, and my birthday’s in August. Oh, well. Maybe we’ll have to plan the party around my party instead of me planning my party around our party.