Yes, Mom took me bra shopping on Tues! It was the most hellish day in my life!

Originally Written on May 5, 1994
Posted on by Jennifer Heller
Happy Cinqo de Maio (?)!

I haven’t written cause there hasn’t been anything to write about.  Yesterday Jeff got the idea tha Wes wasn’t real!  He started spreading rumors about me going out with a non-existent guy!  Can you believe this guy?  Of course I told Wes about this and Wes is going to call Jeff (compliments of Nikki N.) to prove his existence.   Then I’ll be able to laugh in Jeff’s face!

I can’t wait till the dance tomorrow! Unfortunately it’s the last dance of the year!  I bought a new outfit that all together probably cost about $70!  I only spent about $30! I bought the skirt Mom bought the shirt, sliip and bra.  Yes, Mom took me bra shopping on Tues!  It was the most hellish day in my life! But it’s over with! Thank GOD! Up until now I’ve been wearning one hiding it from the parental units.  it was very hard but I lived and then I lived through the shopping although I don’t know how!

I really miss Wes! To me, Wes isn’t fictional anymore.  He’s real and he’s out there – I just need to find him!  It’s depressing!  Chow for now!  (I’m a poet + I know it) Continue Reading

Jeff said he would fax me something. He asked what he should fax me and Alexis replied, “a love letter!’ Jeff came back with “I would but now she’s got a boyfriend!”

Originally Written on April 27, 1994
Posted on by Jennifer Heller

Today was Alexis’ last day.  I never thought I’d say this but I’m really going to miss Alexis.  I hope her life is good in Arizona, I sincerely do.

Here, my life is improving.  I told Alexis about my plan about getting Jeff off my back in the beginning of block.  So we started talking about this guy I supposedly met at TNT last night.  His name is Wes and he goes to Wells.  Well, we really hit it off and at the end of the evening he asked me out.  I said that I didn’t know and now I’m, like, in love w/ him.  Jeff ate it all up!

Anyway, in block I gave Christy my phone number and Jeff wanted it, too.  So Alexis gave it to him wrong.  The last two numbers were switched.  Jeff said he would fax me something.  He asked what he should fax me and Alexis replied, “a love letter!’ Jeff came back with “I would but now she’s got a boyfriend!” Alexis totally cracked me up and told me, “I told you so!” over and over.  Then Jeff said, “I only started to yesterday!” I just sat there thinking Oh my GOD! OH MY GOD! He actually told me he liked me!   I swear JEEEEEEEEZ!

But he fell for my plan!  I’m so happy, I got him off my back.  Now he won’t ask me out!  Of course he could still like me, but he won’t show it nearly as much now!  Thank God! Now I don’t have to worry about saying no!  Thank GOD! Thank you Alexis! Now all I need to do is keep the story going!

More later! Continue Reading

I wanted to run the track to just run away form my problems.

Originally Written on April 26, 1994
Posted on by Jennifer Heller

Today was better, although this morning I wanted to run the track to just run away form my problems. Unfortunately it’s been raining and the track was flooded.   I hope we get to run tomorrow!

Especially since I have a major trouble.  Jeff admitted to liking me (says Cassie) and flirted with me through block.  I tried to avoid all talking w/ him.  I only had to sit by him for 79 minutes (8th graders are taking CLAS testing and the scedules are fucked up). Tomorrow I have to avoid him for four hours!  I have a plan though.  I’m going to get Alexis to ask me about this new guy I supposedly like.  I’ll give him a name – we’ll describe him as total different than Jeff so Jeff’ll get discouraged and won’t ask me out! Nothing happened w/ Robbie although Cassie, Natalie and Lex are still set on our going out!

Tomorrow’s Alexis’ last day.  I used to be a little glad she was moving.  But now Alexis and I are getting along I don’t want her to move!  I won’t miss her bosiness or temper but I will miss having her at our table in block and our friendship.

Couldn’t just part of her (the bad part) move?

I’m going to miss you, Alexis!

(We’ll keep in touch!)

(my pen ran out of ink!)

A nice end to a relationship fraught with petty name-calling, eh?

Continue Reading

History 5° — Cassie writes me a note informing me that I’m going out w/ Robbie.

Originally Written on April 25, 1994
Posted on by Jennifer Heller

Today was not a good day! I’m about to cry. I’ll start at the beginning:

Lunch – Natalie, Lex, Cassie, Ana and I were trying to think of how we could get everyone who went to the party to go out w/ someone. They went on about how cute Robbie and I look together and how perfect we were for eachother. Cassie said something like how it wouldn’t matter if we went out since we’ve kissed so many times! So Cassie went over to Robbie and asked him to go out w/ me. He said he didn’t know who I was although Cassie thinks he didn’t know who she was talking about.

History 5° — Cassie writes me a note informing me that I’m going out w/ Robbie.  Finally I found out that Cassie asked him to go out w/ me.  He said he didn’t know if he would or not – meanwhile everyone was totally bugging me about if I was going out w/ Robbie or not.

French 6° — Lex inform people I’m “sort of” going out w/ Robbie.  I deny it but it’s no use.  I try to kill Cassie.

I am pretty sure that Cassie survives this day.

Language 7-8° — Jeff finds out Robbie and I might be going out.  He keeps trying to convince me not to go out w/ Robbie.  The problem was I was starting to maybe like Robbie again so I wanted to go out w/ him! Cassie tells me that Robbie wants me to ask him out to make sure I want to go out w/ him.  Cassie said Robbie would say yes.  Everyone kept badgering me and badgering me.  Jason T. whispered my name to get my attention and pointed to me than to Robbie and put his fingers together like we’re kissing!  Everyone’s really bugging me + I’m starting to get a little pissed off.  I wanted everyone to get off my case but I also wanted to go out w/ Robbie.

Aelxis and Christy said they’d get off my case if I asked Robbie out.  So finally Alexis goes and asks him out for me!  So now it’s like I liked him and asked him out!  Well the end of the day came and I came home TOTALLY depressed ’cause I knew he was going to say “no”.  I tried to cry when I came home but I couldn’t.  I decide that a phone call to Erika would improve my mood.  She told me Christy wanted me to call her because she had some news for me.  I try to get hints out of Erika, but she won’t budge. Continue Reading

Emily said that guys are like ice-cream.

Originally Written on March 24, 1994
Posted on by Jennifer Heller

Emily came over today and I guess I feel a little better after talking to her. I guess I am having a hard time accepting the fact that a major part of my life is over. It’s amazing what 15 seconds can do. I’m sure it’s a change that probably is long overdue but,… I don’t know.

I just have to wonder how long it will be before I have another. Even though I wanted my first kiss to be because we wanted to, I’m glad it happened. Now I don’t have to sit and wonder what it will be like. Emily said that guys are like ice-cream. Continue Reading

I want to go out w/ someone so I can hug someone. Kiss someone… You know what’s really sad? I’ve kissed a guy and I’ve never hugged anyone.

Originally Written on April 23, 1994
Posted on by Jennifer Heller

Tonight is probably going to be a very memorable evening. Cassie held a party. The guest list included:

Girls               Guys
me                 Mike P.
Lex                Kris B.
Cassie             Robbie
Ana                Tom
Erika              Jordan
Emily              Billy
Windy             Dave S.
Daniele W.
Loni C.
Natalie
Abby R.

Well, the party had a bottle. For spin-the-bottle which led to Truth or Dare. In Spin-the-Bottle I picked:

Dave 3? times
Kris 1 time
Robbie! 1 time

After that in Truth-or-Dare Continue Reading

I called Wild 107 trying to get tickets to see All-4-One during one of the payoffs.

Originally Written on April 21, 1994
Posted on by Jennifer Heller

I feel so pathetically stupid. I called Wild 107 trying to get tickets to see All-4-One during one of the payoffs.

Afterwards I jokingly tried to get through when they were doing Love Lines. I got through, but hung up after I freaked out.

I didn’t want to be on Love Lines but I wanted to get tickets for All-4-One! I’m going to keep trying at the payoffs. Who knows? Maybe I’ll see All-4-One live!

Continue Reading

I don’t think I’ll head-bang quite as much!

Originally Written on April 19, 1994
Posted on by Jennifer Heller

Today was O.K. Nothing much happened.

Everyone who was at the party was walking around with their hands on their necks trying to get rid of the pain in their necks. It like, branded us!

Anyway, there’s talk of another one next weekend. I don’t think I’ll head-bang quite as much! It’s supposed to be at Cassie’s house and they’re considering playing spin-the-bottle! This weekend will be quite eventful if it happens!

This day where nothing much happened was coincidentally my mom’s birthday.

Continue Reading

ADVICE: Don’t over do it on the head-banging! And the DANCING!

Originally Written on April 18, 1994
Posted on by Jennifer Heller

No school today! I just laid around watching the telly in pain while working on my history project. In pain?, you say? Yes, well too much head-banging has a type of hangover. My neck hurts like hell! So do the bottom parts of my legs!

ADVICE: Don’t over do it on the head-banging! And the DANCING!

But it was worth it! I had a great time last night! Even though now I’m sitting around in bed with a heating pad on my neck! The sounds of I swear by All-4-One being distorted by my walkman in my ears.

I <3 that song! It’s my new song! Right now all I have is a radio-recording but “I swear”–get it– that I’ll get a good copy! But I wish last night’ hadn’t ended! I just loved it! I mean, it was alot better than the dances! I don’t know why but I came w/ no expectations so I had a great time! I don’t know why it’s just… Maybe I just had a better time ’cause there weren’t as many people so I wasn’t so self-conscious! Toodles! Chow! Continue Reading