I really hate 4th period lunch!  It sucks!  I also hate Tanya.  She acts like a les, always grabbing my hand.  She is also very annoying!  She talks and talks, all the while grabbing my arm, and not letting go.  When I squirm to get out of her grip, she giggles and grabs on again!  Fuck her!  By the time block comes around I feel like killing whoever is around!

When I found this homophobic statement in my diary I was shocked. Then I remembered the reality of college when I first met my wonderful friends who identify as gay, lesbian, bi-sexual or transgender. I grew up sheltered in suburbia, and I believe these statements are testament to how easily young people can be led astray just by a lack of exposure to alternative lifestyles.

Last Friday we had the welcome back under the sea dance (dumb name).  I spent the whole time finding Jeff for Emily to dance with.  It was fun, but I felt like crying!  The whole time not single guy asked me to dance!  Why don’t guys like me?  I’m not ugly, I know that.  Ashley B. is totally popular with guys and she’s flat.  Like me.  Is it my freckles?  I wonder.  Yesterday Alexis said James K. like me.  I’ve liked him for about a week, but last night I made it official.  I named a teddy bear after him.

Seriously??? omg.

Alexis and Ana say he’s a jerk.  He’s nice to me.  At Emily’s birthday party on Sunday Erica said Steve W. was a jerk.  I said that he wasn’t and so on.  The thing that bugged me is that he’s not a jerk!  He’s really nice.  Erica just saw the bad side of him.  Steve is really, really nice and I may even like him.  Maybe.  Not right now.

Now I like James and Andrew C.  Andrew liked me last year (says Alyssia) speaking of Alyssia, she’s been coming on to Jeff, which bugs Emily like crazy!  Another thing that pissed me off at Erica also happened at the party.  She said I wasn’t sorry.  I said that maybe she didn’t know me too well.  That pissed her off and I was po’ed ‘cause she’s making judgments.  Alexis and me have a fight daily – It bugs.  Not one day this year have we not had a fight.

See you later.

Today Mom and I went through my wardrobe.  I had to try everything on and mom was watching my every move.  About ¾ of the way through Mom asked me if I wanted to get some training bras.  I’m flat as a board, but I said yes.  It was obvious that mom was just as embarrassed about it as I was.

Alexis is getting some discharge.

Tomorrow we are getting schedules.  I’m not really worried.

I got a new storage unit for my closet.  Also a new shelf.  I might be getting a vanity.

Judy came over.  Dad told her that I was thinking (wanting) a vanity and she agreed with me!  Mom told her that I was going to get bras!!!!  Judy didn’t make a big deal out of it though.

It’s hard to believe school starts in days.  I’m not nervous at all!  It is too bad I don’t share Erica’s feelings of scaredness.  NOT!!!!  Now I know how Becky felt last year when I was nervous and she wasn’t.

I’m going to wear some light eyeshadow and lipstick this year.  You can hardly tell I have any eyeshadow on.

Mom and Dad want to give away my dresses.  I don’t mind.

I don’t want to get braces.  A retainer would be fine with me.  Why do I have to go through having braces twice when other people don’t even have to have them once?!!!!